


The cross I bear (that you gave to me)

by myonetruelove



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternative Universe - FBI, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Exes, F/M, Happy Ending, Temporary Character Death, Time Loop
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-07
Updated: 2019-04-07
Packaged: 2020-01-06 02:07:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,125
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18378749
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/myonetruelove/pseuds/myonetruelove
Summary: Clarke Griffin and Bellamy Blake were partners and lovers - until they weren't. Five years later Clarke is back in town and needs help on a case. How can Bellamy tell her no? Things don't go as planned, especially when Bellamy somehow keeps reliving the same day over and over again.





	The cross I bear (that you gave to me)

**Author's Note:**

> For Chopped: The 100 Fanfic Challenge round 2. Prompts were angst with the following tropes:
> 
> +Exes  
> +“give up all your weapons” and that one person that spends the entire evening taking their weights worth out of their pockets  
> +“Lets just (kiss/hook up/whatever) to get it out of our system”   
> +Groundhog day/time loop AU
> 
> This is unedited due to the time constraints of getting it done before the due date. Rating is due to language because Bellamy's mind has a very bad potty mouth and some not so graphic sex scenes.
> 
> The title is from You Oughta Know by Alanis Morissette.

“Blake, you’re being put on special assignment,”

 

Bellamy looked up from his computer to find Lieutenant Pike standing beside his desk, a folder in his hand. “I’m sorry?”

 

“I need you to hand off anything you’re working on to Miller. The FBI has requested your help on a case.” Pike shifted his weight, glancing over his shoulder at Miller whose des was across from Bellamy’s. “It’s on a need to know basis. You’ve got an hour to wrap things up and get Miller caught up. Meet me in my office.” Without another word, Pike headed to the office in question.

 

“What was that all about?” Miller slid his chair across the aisle until he was next to Bellamy.

 

“I have no idea. He said I was requested for help on a case with the FBI.” Bellamy shook his head. He had no idea why they would request him. He wasn’t any different from the other dozen detectives in the Polis Police Department. Yeah, he and Miller had one of the highest close rates, but why just him?

 

Suddenly Miller sat up straighter in his chair. “FBI? You don’t think that-”

 

Bellamy held up his hand to cut Miller off. “I doubt it. It’s not like I’ve spoken to her in five years and it’s not like she’d want to work with me after the breakup.”

 

“Yeah, I guess not.” Miller didn’t look convinced. “Well, tell me what cases you have open.”

 

Fifty minutes later Bellamy stood outside of Pike’s door, still confused about this turn of events. Maybe it was because he had put his application in to join the FBI. It had taken him far longer than it should have, but Bellamy did finally have his BA in Criminal Justice so on a whim he’d applied for the FBI but hadn’t really ever thought that he’d have a chance. Maybe they wanted to see him work a case before they offered him a position. He wasn’t sure how it worked since the only person he’d ever known that had gone to the FBI wasn’t someone that he wanted to think about. 

 

With a sigh, he raised his hand and knocked on the door. When he heard Pike call out to come in, he pushed the door open.

 

“Blake.” Pike glanced at the clock. “Less than an hour, I should’ve known. Close the door and have a seat.”

 

Bellamy pushed the door shut before sitting in one of the chairs across the desk from his boss. He was nervous, but he didn’t know why. Pike was a good guy, always looked out for them, but this not knowing anything was making him anxious.

 

“So, I’m sure that you have some questions.” Pike gave him a half smile. “I can’t give you a whole lot of information, because I don’t have it. As I said, it’s on a need to know basis and they apparently don’t think that I need to know.” Pike flipped open a folder, laying it on the desk in front of Bellamy. “They’re going after the Wallaces.”

 

Bellamy glanced up at Pike for a moment before picking up the folder and flipping through it. It was mostly information that he already knew. He’d worked a case on the Wallaces five years ago, but it had fallen apart. Not enough evidence, just like every other case the PPD had tried to build against them over the years. There didn’t seem to be much new information in the file, just more charges that they were hoping to be able to get them for. “What makes the FBI think that they can get the Wallaces when this department has been trying for years?”

 

Pike shrugged. “That’s above my pay grade. I know that you and Griffin worked a case against them when you guys were first partnered, If I had to hazard a guess, that’s probably why you were picked, but I don’t know for sure.”

 

Bellamy nodded. That did make sense, kind of. “So what do I do?”

 

Pike nodded his head at the file. “There’s an address in there. It’s a high-end apartment so I’m assuming that’s where the agent is set up, but I don’t even have their name.”

 

Bellamy nodded as he found the address, whistling aloud. That address wasn’t just for a high-end apartment, but some of the nicest in Polis. “Did they say how long I’d be on assignment?”

 

“Until the job is done, so who knows how long that’ll be.”

 

“Okay.” Bellamy stood up, holding his hand out for Pike to shake. “Well, I guess I’ll see you when I see you.”

 

“You’ll do great, Blake.” Pike sent him one last nod before turning back to his computer.

 

An hour later Bellamy stood outside the apartment building, realizing that he had no idea if they’d even let him up. There was a concierge desk and he didn’t even know who the hell he was supposed to be meeting. Well, there was only one way to find out. 

 

Bellamy pushed the door open and approached the desk. A man in his 50s sat behind the desk in a red uniform, a nametag reading Jac. “Hello, sir. How may I help you today?”

 

“I’m supposed to be meeting someone in apartment P?” Bellamy glanced at the paper in his hand again to be sure that was correct and it was. 

 

“And your name, sir?”

 

“Bellamy Blake.”

 

“Okay, Mr. Blake. Give me just a moment to call up. You can have a seat in the lobby.” Jac gestured to a small lobby area with two couches and two armchairs surrounding a large coffee table. “Feel free to grab a water or a cup of coffee.”

 

Bellamy nodded as he headed over to one of the couches and took a seat, placing his bag in his lap. It didn’t have much in it at the moment, just his laptop and the file that Pike had given to him. His gun was in a shoulder holster beneath his jacket, his badge in his pocket. He wasn’t sure that he needed to announce that he was a police officer. He knew that a lot of the work that the FBI handled was undercover, so it was probably better to be safe than sorry.

 

Bellamy didn’t have to wait long as he watched Jac pick up the phone and speak into it for a few moments. When he hung up the phone he smiled at Bellamy, standing up and heading towards him. “Okay, Mr. Blake. I’m going to escort you to the elevator and get you on your way.”

 

Bellamy stood and followed him to the elevator. It arrived just seconds after the button was pressed and Jac stepped onto the elevator with him, scanning a badge that hung at his hip. He pressed the ‘P’ button and smiled before stepping off the elevator. “Miss. Griffin is expecting you.”

 

Bellamy was sure that the shock was written all over his face as the door shut. He couldn’t believe it. Clarke Griffin, in Polis, and requesting his help on a case? It made no sense whatsoever. He felt like his mind was going to explode as his thoughts raced, but he forced himself to calm down as the elevator approached his floor. He could do this, it was just Clarke. 

 

Bellamy’s eyes slid shut as the elevator dinged and he took a deep breath as the doors opened. He opened his eyes to find himself in an opulent apartment and from what he could see, this was definitely the penthouse. His eyes were drawn to a movement near the windows and there she was, just as beautiful as she had been five years ago when he had last seen her.

 

Clarke’s hair was much shorter than it had been before, just brushing her shoulders. Her blue eyes were bright, the makeup she wore making them more predominate. Bellamy wasn’t sure that he’d ever seen her wear that much makeup before, but she looked amazing. The only thing that would’ve made her even more beautiful would have been if she’d been smiling. Which she most definitely was not.

 

“Bellamy.” Her voice was cold but still melodic. He’d spent hours just listening to her talk. 

 

“Clarke.” Bellamy stepped into the apartment while she walked closer until they met in the doorway of the living room. “It’s been a long time.”

 

Clarke rolled her eyes. “You think?” Her eyes fell shut for just a moment before they shot up to meet his. “I requested you on this case because we worked on it when we first became partners. I know that our past….complicates things, but I can deal with it if you can.”

 

Bellamy found himself nodding, but why he didn’t know. He wasn’t actually sure he could handle this. Her scent was all that he could focus on, she still smelled like Clarke. God, he didn’t know how much he had missed her until she was standing in front of him. “I don’t know exactly what the case is. Pike just said it involved the Wallaces. He didn’t know you’d be involved. Hell, I didn’t know until your doorman told me who was waiting to meet me.”

 

Clarke laughed. “Of course no one told you. Why would they? It’s not like we were ever together, according to the PPD.” She waved her hands in front of her. “Whatever, that doesn’t matter. And just so you’re aware, the doorman? He’s FBI.”

 

Well, that was interesting. They had FBI posing as doormen at the apartment that Clarke was in. “Why do you have an FBI agent posing as your doorman?”

 

“Well, that’s a little bit of a story. Come, have a seat and I’ll fill you in.” Clarke turned on her heel and headed for an armchair, where she quickly took a seat. “Do you want a drink or anything?”

 

Bellamy shook his head as he took a seat on the couch across from her. “No, I’m good. But I’d really like to know what the case is.”

 

Clarke nodded. “My stepdad, Marcus, is running for senator. The Wallaces are backing him both politically and financially. When they came on as donors, Marcus reached out to me. He doesn’t want that kind of money to dirty his campaign, but I talked to my bosses and they got him to agree to work with us. My work with the FBI has never been made public and the Wallaces know that I worked on the police force, but believe that I went to work for a charity in DC after I left here. It’s been a good cover story for my mother and Marcus’s friends. So we used that, saying that I was coming back to Georgia to work on his campaign. They’re only an hour from here and since I lived here for a few years, it makes sense that I’d want to come back here. Cage and I are...dating, I guess. It’s just really a way to get me into the family.” She paused for a moment, wringing her hands in her lap. “And that’s where you come in. They want someone with me to act as my bodyguard. They offered an agent, but there’s no one there that I can trust my life with so I thought of you.” She paused again as she let that information sink in. “Things may not have ended well with us, but I always knew that you had my back when it came to the job. With that being said, this is not me forgiving you for cheating on me. We are not friends. We are coworkers, and you are the person that I trust to keep me safe.”

 

Bellamy sat there, shell shocked. He couldn’t believe that she still trusted him with her life after the lie that he had told to get her to join the FBI. Clarke had moved through the ranks quickly, becoming a detective right at the minimum threshold of 3 years. She’d been partnered with Bellamy, who at the time had been a detective for five years. She’d had good instincts. She’d listened when she needed to but hadn’t been afraid to push back. She’d made Bellamy a better cop for it. 

 

They had spent six months at each other’s throats until Bellamy had asked her to grab a drink after work, a peace offering. By some miracle, she had accepted and they’d actually gotten to know one another. They’d quickly become the best of friends, hanging out almost every day outside of work. They’d been partners for just under a year when they’d kissed for the first time. Partners were not supposed to date, but they just kept it quiet. Their friends had known, but no one at work.

 

A little over a year after they’d started dating, Clarke got a call from the FBI - her dream job. Marcus Kane, whom her mother had just started dating, worked for an FBI office in Atlanta and had recommended her for a position. Clarke had been adamant that she no longer wanted to work at the FBI, that she was happy being a detective at the PPD, but Bellamy knew better. He’d thought about breaking up with her but knew that she’d see right through it. So he’d told her that he had cheated on her - which he definitely did not do - and that had sent her packing. She took the job with the FBI, leaving Bellamy alone and heartbroken, but he knew that he had made the right decision. He would have done it over again, the same exact way so that the woman that he loved could live her dream.

 

“I..uh…” Bellamy stuttered as he took in the information. It was honestly just too much sitting here across from Clarke. He’d honestly never thought that he’d see her again and it was a lot. Especially when she was telling him that there was no one but him that she would trust with her life. “Yes...whatever you need.”

 

Clarke visibly relaxed, leaning back into the chair as she crossed her legs. “Good, this makes it much easier than me having to convince you.” When her phone rang she leaned forward again to grab it from the table. “Sorry, give me a second.” She picked up the phone and put it to her ear. “Griffin.”

 

Bellamy took the time to just look at Clarke. Of course, she was beautiful and so what if seeing her again reopened a wound in his heart that he’d thought was healed? All he had to do was get through this assignment and then he’d probably never see her again. It didn’t mean that he needed to tell her that he had never cheated (no matter how much he wanted to) or try and fix what was broken between them. He could be professional and detached, of course, he could. He took a deep breath as she hung up the phone and turned back to him.

 

“There are a few agents on their way to brief us and so we can get your story straight. We will stick to the truth as much as possible so that it’s easier to remember. You’ll live here in the apartment with me, in one of the guest rooms, obviously. You won’t be able to have contact with anyone besides Octavia, but she can’t know what is going on. No one can know what we’re doing. Your story will be that you were a cop until a year ago when you were fired. The reason won’t have been released, but it’ll be because you stole from a crime scene. They couldn’t prove it so they let you go. This will let the Wallaces know that you can be trusted and this way if anyone saw you when you were a cop, you have a valid reason. You’re honestly just the muscle, but I’m hoping that they might just slip up when you’re around.” Clarke tilted her head as she looked at him. “Do you have any questions for me?”

 

Bellamy shook his head. He had a lot of questions for her, but none that involved the case so he figured he’d keep them to himself. 

 

He met a lot of people that day, half of whom he’d never see again. He would remember the important ones: Jacapo Sinclair, agent, Raven Reyes, Electronics Technician, Monty Green, IT Specialist/Forensic Examiner, and John Murphy, Surveillance. They were the team that he and Clarke would be working with.

 

It took them almost a month to get Bellamy’s identity updated and to have him installed as Clarke’s bodyguard. They were both equipped with wires that Raven swore would never be detected, Clarke’s was a necklace and his a bracelet. Both Clarke and Bellamy also always wore coms which she swore would never be detected either. At first, Bellamy had been leery, but six months into the op and they still hadn’t been found.

 

Bellamy could tell that Clarke was getting frustrated that they hadn’t been able to get any information to convict yet. Not to mention that their being around each other 24-7 was definitely putting both of them on edge. Bellamy had come to accept that he was still in love with Clarke, but that she would never see him that way again. He still hadn’t told her that he had lied about cheating, because what good would it do? 

 

A knock on his door brought him from his thoughts as he called out, “Come in.”

 

Clarke pushed open the door, looking more casual than he’d seen her in the last six months. Her hair was pulled up and she wore a shirt that was about three sizes too big for her and he was pretty sure there were shorts under it, but he couldn’t say for sure. God, he wanted her so bad. 

 

“So, Cage is still out of town until tomorrow. I just wanted to let you know that I was going to be in my studio for a little while, painting.” She paused. “In case you need anything.”

 

_ Besides you? _ Bellamy had to bite down on his lip to keep the words from slipping out. It was so hard sometimes to not tell her how he felt, which was ridiculous. He was a grown ass man, but she made him feel like he was a teenager again. He just nodded.

 

When Clarke just stood there watching him, Bellamy let the book he was holding fall into his lap. “Was there something else that you needed?” His throat was dry and the tension was thick as Clarke stepped into his room, saying nothing as she walked slowly towards him.

 

When she reached the bed that he sat on she paused and he still couldn’t read the look on her face. Her hand reached up slowly, brushing against his glasses. “I wasn’t sure you still wore them. I haven’t seen you wear them since you’ve been here.” Clarke’s voice was husky as her eyes met his.

 

And that’s when it dawned on Bellamy. He’d forgotten just how much Clarke had loved him in glasses. The first time she’d seen him wearing them they’d been at the bar and she had led him into the girl’s bathroom, locking the door behind them before she’d dropped down on her knees and given him the best blow job of his life. He’d returned the favor by fucking her against the door. Maybe he’d unconsciously not been wearing them, because he hadn’t wanted to see if that had changed. Before the op, he had worn them every night once he’d gotten home because he hated wearing contacts. It was easier when he was working, but he liked being comfortable when he was at home.

 

Bellamy watched as Clarke drew her bottom lip between her teeth and he could see her warring with herself. He didn’t move for fear of scaring her off or worse, setting her off. Finally, after what seemed like hours, but couldn’t have been more than a few seconds, her lips were on his. 

 

Bellamy moaned as he reached for her, pulling her onto the bed and into his lap. Clarke’s hands slid into his hair as her mouth slid open for him. It was like no time had passed since he’d last held her in his arms. It just felt right,  _ they _ felt right. As he pulled her closer, his hands slid under her shirt and up her back. He trailed his fingers over her back slowly, making her shiver. She tasted amazing.

 

Just as suddenly as it started, it ended. Clarke pulled back, jumping from the bed. “That was a mistake. It never should have happened.” 

  
Bellamy was sure he saw tears in her eyes as she spun on her heel and dashed from the room. He jumped up and chased after her. “Clarke! Wait!” He reached her door, that slammed in his race and came to a stop. He heard the lock turn and he pounded on the door. “Clarke, let me in. We need to talk about this.”

 

“There’s nothing to talk about.” Her voice was muffled, but he could tell that she was crying. “Just go away, Bellamy.”

 

Bellamy tried for another ten minutes to get Clarke to let him in before giving up and going back to his own room. He threw himself onto the bed and sighed. Things had gotten infinitely more complicated.

 

* * *

 

Bellamy must have fallen asleep at some point because he woke up to a dark room and a brisk knock on his door. He jumped out of bed and clamored to the door. Maybe Clarke had finally decided that they could talk. He threw the door open, confused to find Murphy standing there.

 

“Get dressed. Cage called Clarke in for a meeting. He said he’s finally going to let her see how things really run in their family.” Without another word Murphy walked away, leaving Bellamy standing there gaping after him. Murphy glanced over his shoulder. “We’re leaving in ten so hurry the fuck up.”

 

Bellamy slammed the door shut as he hurried to get dressed, strapping on his weapons. Why now? Why had Cage finally agreed to let Clarke in? It didn’t make any sense to him. He pulled his bracelet wire on, sticking his comm in his ear. What if this was a trap? What if Cage had figured out that Clarke worked for the FBI? 

 

Bellamy forced himself to take a calming breath. That’s why he was there. To make sure that nothing happened to Clarke. They had planned for pretty much anything that could happen and he knew that the pair of them were good at winging it when they needed to. They would be fine. They would finally be able to nail that bastard and hopefully his dad too.

 

Ten minutes later he stood in the living room as Sinclair gave them a rundown of what they could expect. The entire time Sinclair was talking Bellamy’s eyes were on Clarke, who had refused to look at him even once since she’d entered the room. She would have to talk to him at some point. 

 

Murphy drove Bellamy and Clarke to the Wallace estate, posing as Clarke’s driver allowed him easier access to surveillance. He knew that Clarke wouldn’t speak to him while Murphy was in the car so one he held the door open for her he leaned in close. “We have to talk about this, Clarke.”

 

Clarke’s eyes were cold when they met his. “There is nothing to discuss. Get your head out of your ass and in the game. This could be the night.” 

 

Bellamy held his hands up in surrender, stepping out of the way so that Clarke could walk up the stairs. The door opened before she could reach it and Cage stood there, a huge smile on his face. “Hey, babe.” He leaned over and kissed Clarke and like always Bellamy had to fight the jealousy that was building up inside of him. He knew that it was a fake relationship, at least on Clarke’s side, but it still burned to watch them kiss.

 

“I’m so glad that you came back early.” Clarke was in her persona that she’d adapted while undercover with the Wallaces. Her voice was bubbly, a smile on her face. “Now, what is this surprise that you got me?”

 

Cage led her in the house, letting the door shut in Bellamy’s face. He growled under his breath as he pushed it open and followed them into the living room. When he reached the doorway he saw Cage on one knee, a ring in his hand.

 

Clarke squealed as she stuck her hand out, nodding her head. Once Cage had slid the ring on his finger, she pulled him up into a standing position and kissed him.

 

Well, at least it made sense why Cage was willing to let Clarke in on the family business. He was planning on making her family. At least that was one mystery solved. Bellamy took up his position against the wall, averting his eyes from the kissing couple. He ignored them as they sat down and chatted about Cage’s trip, his eyes roving around the room and outside, looking for trouble.

 

About an hour later, the doorbell rang and Cage pulled Clarke up from the couch. “That’s probably my dad. I’ll go let him in and then we can head downstairs. Everyone else is already here.” Cage returned moments later with Dante in tow. 

 

Cage took Clarke’s hand and let her to the elevator as Dante rained praises on Clarke. Bellamy rolled his eyes as he followed, stepping onto the elevator behind them.

 

“And where do you think you’re going?” Cage stepped in front of Bellamy, blocking him from entering the elevator.

 

“Where Clarke goes, I go.” Bellamy’s hands stayed at his side, but his body tensed.

 

“She doesn’t need you where we’re going.” Cage started at him, trying to intimidate him. It wasn’t working.

 

“Oh, but babe, you know Marcus doesn’t want me alone at any time.” Clarke ran her hand up Cage’s arm. “It's okay, we pay Bellamy to be discreet.”

 

Cage glanced back at Dante who just shrugged. “Fine, but keep your damn mouth shut.”

 

Bellamy nodded as he stepped inside. He pushed against the wall and seconds later the doors were sliding open again.

 

They exited the elevator into a long hallway with a door at the end. Standing on each side of the door was one of Cage’s guys. They stood casually, hands locked behind their backs as they watched the group walk down the hallway. Once they reached them, Cage pulled a gun from his pants and handed it to one of the guys, Dante following suit. 

 

Cage turned to Bellamy. “If you’re going in with us then you have to give up all your weapons.”

 

Bellamy turned to Clarke who gave him a sharp nod before he turned back to the goons. He pulled the gun from its shoulder holster and then the hunting knife from its sheath at his hip. Next came the brass knuckles, his taser, and pepper spray from inside his jacket. The butterfly knife, pocket knife, and another taser from his pant’s pockets. Both pistols from their ankle holsters. 

 

Then Bellamy had to pause, trying to remember if he was missing anything before reaching back into his jacket and removing two more knives.

 

“Jesus, Blake. Is that it?” Cage rolled his eyes. 

 

“Yeah, that’s it.” Bellamy grinned, shooting Clarke a look. No one had thought to check her, because why would Clarke Griffin be armed? Fucking idiots. 

 

Cage didn’t say another word as he led them through the door into a small room with another door. “Blake, like I said keep your fucking mouth shut. Clarke, I’d recommend just observing today. This group isn’t used to new people and especially not women in these meetings.”

 

Clarke nodded demurely, allowing Cage to lead her through the next doorway. Inside the next room was a large table with ten men sitting around it. He recognized a few of the faces: Roan King, Paxton McCreary, and Thelonious Jaha. This was a group of high hitters in what could be called the mob. They were criminals every one of them. 

 

Bellamy followed to the head of the room where Dante took a seat, Cage to his right and Clarke beside him. Bellamy stationed himself against the wall. He wasn’t to be noticed. He was here to listen and get intel while making sure that Clarke stayed safe. 

 

“Congratulations are in order, boys.” Dante grinned. “You’ll notice a new face at the table, my future daughter-in-law, Clarke Griffin.” Dante made introductions around the table, noticing Jaha’s disbelief. He knew that when Clarke was young the Griffins and Jahas had been close, but when Jake had discovered how his friend was making his money, he had ended the friendship quickly.

 

Soon the table settled down and when the talks began, Bellamy knew that they had the Wallaces now. All they had to do was make it out of this meeting and they’d be able to nail their asses to the wall. He scanned the room, seeing McCreary was staring at Clarke. Something was really off about this guy, from what he had heard and he didn’t like the way that he was watching Clarke. 

 

He started forward to whisper to Clarke when suddenly McCreary stood up. “What the hell is in your ear?”

 

Bellamy glanced at Clarke to see that her comm had slid out and into view. Fuck.

 

Clarke’s eyes widened and she didn’t hesitate as she pulled her gun from inside her jacket, whipping it towards McCreary as she shoved her chair backward. “Back the fuck off.”

 

“Clarke?” Cage’s eyes were wide and Bellamy would have found it amusing if the situation wasn’t so serious. 

 

Clarke backed up until she was just in front of Bellamy. “There’s a gun in my waistband, grab it.”

 

Bellamy reached down and grasped the gun, but before he could pull it out the door flew open and Cage’s men appeared, firing on Clarke without hesitation. Bellamy grabbed her as she slid to the ground, the life already draining from her eyes. 

 

“Fuck, Clarke. No.” The tears fell from Bellamy’s eyes. He’d failed to protect her and she was dying in his arms. That was the last thought he had before there was nothing, but blackness.

 

* * *

 

 

Bellamy awoke with a start. What the fuck? He glanced around to find himself on the bed of his room at Clarke’s. His glasses were askew, the book he had been reading had fallen to the bed. Had he been dreaming? It just didn’t make any sense.

 

A knock on his door reminded him what had woken him. “Come in.” His voice was a little hoarse from sleep so he cleared his throat as the door opened.

 

Clarke pushed open the door and Bellamy had major deja vu as she was wearing the same clothes that she had been in his dream. Her hair was pulled up, the shirt that was three sizes too big and legs for days.

 

“So, Cage is still out of town until tomorrow. I just wanted to let you know that I was going to be in my studio for a little while, painting.” She paused. “In case you need anything.”

 

“What the fuck?”

 

“Excuse me?” Clarke was confused and so was Bellamy until he realized that he’d spoken out loud. 

 

“I just um...I swear to God, I just woke up from a dream that this just happened.” Bellamy straightened his glasses, watching as Clarke’s eyes followed his movements. Oh fuck. 

 

Clarke licked her lips as she stepped closer and this time Bellamy could totally read what was going on in her mind because he’d just fucking dreamed it. This didn’t make any sense. 

 

Suddenly Clarke was beside the bed. “I wasn’t sure that you still wore your glasses, I haven’t seen you in them since you’ve been here.”

 

Bellamy just shrugged, because what else was he supposed to do? His eyes flicked down to her lips before meeting hers again. There was a small smile on her face before she was leaning over and kissing him.

 

Bellamy sighed as his eyes slid shut and he pulled her up onto his lap, deepening the kiss. His mind went blank, Clarke his only thought as her tongue slid across his. She tasted just as good as she had before. Shit, before. His dream. Seriously, what the fuck was going on?

 

Bellamy pulled back. “Clarke….”

 

“Fuck.” Clarke tried to jerk away from him, but he held her to him. “Let me go, Bellamy.”

 

“We should talk about this.”

 

“There’s nothing to talk about. We kissed. Big deal. We’re two attractive adults who have been living in close quarters for months. Not to mention exes, so we know how good it can be. Let’s just move on and forget about it.”

 

“What if I don’t want to forget about it?” Bellamy leaned forward to kiss her again but stopped when she jerked back.

 

“Well, you’re going to need to forget about it. Because it didn’t mean anything.” This time when Clarke tried to climb off the bed, Bellamy let her. 

 

Bellamy watched her leave, his heart breaking into a million pieces. When she paused in the doorway, he sat up but laid back down when she just pulled the door shut behind her. 

 

Now Bellamy’s mind was racing a million miles a second as he tried to comprehend how much real life had been like his dream. It wasn’t the first time that he’d had deja vu, but it had never been so eerily similar. Hell, the conversation had been almost spot on. Fuck, maybe he should just go back to sleep.

 

A knock sometime later pulled Bellamy from his sleep again. “Yeah?”

 

The door flew open to reveal Murphy. “Get dressed. Cage is back and called Clarke over for some kind of meeting.”

 

Bellamy just sat there, in shock. Seriously, what the hell was going on? When he didn’t move, Murphy waved his hands in the air. “Did you hear me? Get some fucking clothes on, we leave in ten minutes.”

 

Bellamy hurried to get ready, moving in a daze. He only half listened to Sinclair because he was saying the same damn thing that Bellamy had already heard. Clarke was refusing to meet his eyes and Murphy was eyeing him. The drive to the Wallace estate was silent as Clarke and Bellamy were both lost in their own thoughts.

 

This time Bellamy was able to see Cage actually propose to Clarke and it was definitely underwhelming. What a douche. Bellamy moved in a complete haze as they went to the basement, his weapons coming faster this time. He also made sure that he kept his knife tucked in his boot, just in case. 

 

Bellamy kept his eyes on CLarke as the talks began and damned if he didn’t see her comm slip out of her ear. Glancing at McCreary he saw that the man hadn’t yet noticed. He quickly bent down to Clarke’s ear, whispering to her. “Your comm slipped.”

 

While Bellamy was still bent over she quickly adjusted it, sending him a quick thank you smile before gesturing for him to back up again. He stepped back, not knowing what the hell had caused the dream, but glad that he wouldn’t have to watch Clarke die in his arms again.

 

Bellamy glanced towards McCreary only to find the man wasn’t in his seat. Suddenly he was beside him, hand wrapped around Bellamy’s arm. “Why the fuck is there a cop here?”

 

“Cop? What the hell are you talking about?” Cage spun around, rolling his eyes when McCreary shoved Bellamy forward. “Blake isn’t a cop anymore. He was let go a year ago when some money went missing from a crime scene.”

 

“Really? Then how the fuck did my crew get busted by him just two months ago?” McCreary slammed Bellamy’s head forward into the table next to Clarke. “And if he’s a cop then why the fuck is your girlfriend employing him?”

 

Bellamy didn’t even think about it as he reached down and grabbed his knife, stabbing McCreary in the stomach. He shoved him away and pulled Clarke from her chair. He grabbed the gun that he knew was in her waistband and aimed it at Cage. “Just let us out of here.”

 

When the door flew open Bellamy quickly shot both of the men that piled through but wasn’t fast enough to get it back on Cage before he pulled a gun from under the table and shot Bellamy twice in the chest. 

 

Bellamy dropped the gun as he fell to his knees. Somehow he ended up with his head in Clarke’s lap as he watched the tears fall from her eyes. “Don’t cry, princess. Better me than you.” He tried to reach up to stroke her face, but he couldn’t move his hand. “Love you.” And then everything went black.

 

* * *

 

 

Bellamy woke up with a strangled scream, his door flying open. Clarke stood there, dressed as she had been before. Was he reliving the fucking day? This couldn’t be happening. This was the tenth fucking time he’d woken up from the same damn day, most of the time he had died. Although Clarke had died in two of the days.

 

Clarke flew across the room, hands on Bellamy’s face. “Are you okay? What happened?”

 

Bellamy didn’t think, just reacted. He pressed his lips to Clarke’s, worried for a moment when she didn’t respond. Before he could pull back she was weaving her hands through his hair. He pulled her onto the bed, rolling her onto her back. He pulled back for just a moment, just taking her in. “Just once? To get it out of our system?”

 

Clarke nodded and that was all the answer Bellamy needed. He kissed her like it was the last thing he would do. If one of them was going to die today, then they should at least get a chance to share this one last time. 

 

Bellamy took his time, lavishing her with praises and orgasms. He enjoyed going down on her so he did until she had come twice. While she was still shaking he slid into her and it was like being home. He didn’t care what he had to do - they were making it out of this alive and he was going to tell her the truth. He was going to tell her that he loved her, that he’d never stopped and that he’d never cheated on her. He’d quit his job and follow her to DC. He didn’t care. He couldn’t live without her anymore.

 

Which is how he found himself hours later, standing outside the meeting room with Cage’s two goons. He’d fixed Clarke’s comm before they’d gone downstairs and informed Cage that he would wait outside the room for them. Maybe with just Clarke in there, they would be able to get the information needed and neither of them had to die. He could hear the conversation over his comm and they had everything that they needed to take the Wallaces down.

 

He glanced at his phone before looking back up at the two goons. “I have to take this.” He pressed the phone, acting like there was a call. “This is Blake.” He paused. “Is it serious? She’s in a meeting right now. But sir….” Bellamy glanced up at the goons, rolling his eyes. They nodded. They understood what it was like dealing with idiot bosses. “Fine, I’ll tell her.”

 

Bellamy pressed the screen of his phone against before sliding it into his pocket. “Look, I know that we’re not supposed to disturb them, but Clarke’s mom was in a car accident and her stepdad is requesting that I bring her to the hospital. Do you think you could go in there and get her?”

 

The guy on the left looked like he was going to say something, but Bellamy held up his hands. “I really don’t want to go in there. Cage hates me. He thinks that Clarke should have a less attractive bodyguard. Doesn’t matter that I’m gay.”

 

The guy on the right stifled a laugh. “That sounds about right. I’ll go get MIss. Griffin. Give me a second.” He went through the door, returning with Clarke in less than a minute.

 

Clarke’s eyes were wide with fear. “Bellamy?”

 

“It’s okay, Clarke. Your mom was in an accident, but Kane wants me to get you to the hospital ASAP.” Bellamy grabbed her arm, pulling her down the hallway. He leaned in close to her ear. “I wanted to get you out of there before anything could go wrong. We got enough, didn’t we?”

 

Clarke gave him a small nod. “We have to hurry, Bellamy. I have to make sure that she’s okay.”

 

They hurried into the elevator and out of the house, not speaking until they reached the care. As Murphy peeled out fo the driveway Clarke launched herself into his arms, raining kisses on his face. “We got them, Bell. We fucking got them.”

 

Bellamy took her face into his hands and kissed her. When he pulled back her face was shocked. “I love you Clarke. I’ve loved you for years. I never cheated on you, I just didn’t want you to give up your dreams for me. But I can’t live without you anymore. I’ll move to DC or wherever the hell you want. Just please, don’t leave me again.”

 

Tears fell down CLarke’s face as her hands reached up to cup his face. ‘You are an idiot of a man, Bellamy Blake.” She kissed him lightly. “I love you too, but I don’t really think this is the time to talk about this. How about we get this case closed and then we talk about it?”

 

“As long as it means you’re with me, whatever the hell you want.” Bellamy pulled her into him again, brushing his lips over hers. He never wanted to stop kissing her ever again.

 

“Alright, the two of you. KNock it the fuck off until we get the wires and comms off of you. We can all hear you and i”m not in the mood to hear the two of you fucking in the back of the car,” Murphy called back to them.

 

Clarke giggled as she settled into Bellamy’s side and he knew that whatever came next, they could handle it. Although, he definitely hoped that he wouldn’t have to relive any other days anytime soon.

 


End file.
